


Christmas Adventures in Spacecraft Thievery

by igrockspock



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Getting Together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-31
Updated: 2013-12-31
Packaged: 2018-01-06 22:48:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1112436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/igrockspock/pseuds/igrockspock
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If family Christmas doesn't work out, "borrowing" a Starfleet shuttlecraft is the next best thing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Christmas Adventures in Spacecraft Thievery

**Author's Note:**

  * For [katmarajade](https://archiveofourown.org/users/katmarajade/gifts).



As near as Gaila can tell, Christmas is about three things: primarily shopping, secondly family, and third -- but most important to her -- lots of green things. Red is a popular color too, and it looks totally awesome with her skin. People tell her that she's a sexy elf, and then they have sex with her, so the holiday works out well even if it doesn't make much sense.

Spock tells her that an elf is a derogatory term sometimes directed at people with pointed ears, which doesn't really seem to apply to Gaila, but he looks so positively irritated that she doesn't ask follow-up questions. Chekov tells her that elves come from an ancient human text called Lord of the Rings, which she can read on paper pulp or watch in primitive 2D recording. She takes the latter option, which occupies almost an entire day, and it's a good story, but the elves don't have much in common with her -- well, except for being sexy. But in a different way that unfortunately does not involve any sex.

Next she tries Hikaru, who's sitting by himself in the corner of the mess hall.

"Why do people only call me a sexy elf in December?" she asks. It's important that she know; she's had 28% more sex this month than in any other, and if she can be a sexy elf in January and February, she'd like to know.

"Elves make presents in Santa's workshop," Hikaru says. Gaila notices that he's barely eaten any of his breakfast, so she tries to smile extra radiantly to brighten his mood. 

"And I am like an elf because I bring people Christmas presents, and those presents are --"

"Orgasms," Hikaru says. "Yes. I know. But please don't tell me about them at breakfast, okay?"

No sexual discussion at breakfast. Gaila hasn't heard that one before. She wonders if it's a Hikaru-rule or an everyone-rule, or a Phillipino-rule, or a man-rule...or, really, there are too many variations to count when you get to know a species. This is why she hangs out with Jim so much; he has no rules.

"What's wrong?" Gaila asks because Hikaru is frowning at his scrambled eggs again, and he doesn't usually do that even though they're gross.

"My mom's not coming home for Christmas," he says. "I mean, she doesn't ever come home for Christmas, but this year she said she was going to, and..."

"You're disappointed because she's not," Gaila says quietly.

"Yeah. I mean, I know how Starfleet works. Family comes second sometimes. But she's been in the 'fleet for twenty-seven years now, and she's a captain. She could swing Christmas shore leave pretty easily if she tried."

"Is there anything I can do?" Gaila asks. Nyota had taught her this was a good question, better than attempting Orion forms of comfort like unsolicited braiding of hair or hiring of strippers.

Hikaru snorts. "Hack SysOps and get her ship ordered back to Earth?"

Gaila nods earnestly. "I could do that. I mean, I haven't done anything like that before. But I'm good at hacking things, and Jim would help. It can't be that much harder than hijacking an Klingon weapon ship, right?"

Hikaru's eyes widen. "You've done that? And also don't do that -- the hacking thing, I mean. You'll get expelled, which won't matter after my mom kills you."

"Oh." Gaila deflates. "So that was one of those impossible requests to communicate that there is actually nothing I can do?" 

"When you put it that way, it makes me sound like an asshole," Hikaru says. "But no, I don't think there's anything you can do."

***

Gaila has always taken 'you can't do that' as a challenge, so her mind is already whirring while she watches Hikaru dump his breakfast tray into the trash can and shuffle out of the mess hall.

 _I do not accept that there's nothing I can do to cheer you up,_ Gaila texts.

 _...I'm frightened_ , Hikaru writes back.

Gaila thinks that's an overreaction, so she sets about making a perfectly sane list.

_1\. I can offer you all manner of sexual favors._

Hikaru will say no to that one; somehow she's gotten into the "friend zone," which is an evil realm that does not contain sex. Gaila wishes he could explain how she'd gotten there so she can avoid repeating the mistake with other attractive pilots who carry swords, should she be lucky enough to find any.

 _2\. I won ninety-seven transporter credits in poker last week. We can go anywhere on Earth. Literally_.

Chekov had surrendered them to her in lieu of taking off his underwear at strip poker night. Everyone had been shocked that Gaila chose transporter credits over nudity, but Chekov is, like, fourteen -- getting him naked again wouldn't be difficult _if_ she decides she has a taste for really young boys.

_3\. Cupcake has a Solar Explorer pass that's good all the way to Charon, and he owes me a favor._

A lot of favors, actually, but she had promised not to reveal how or why he had come into her debt.

_4\. I can liberate all the cookie dough from the mess hall and make Leonard give us anti-nausea drugs so we can eat as much as we want without getting sick._

_5\. I know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy who has a lot of Romulan ale._

_6\. Have you ever wanted to smuggle something past border patrol? I can think of lots of opportunities._

She texts him all through warp physics and nav sim (where she almost crashes her shuttle) before she finally strikes gold with number twenty-one:

 _We'll borrow a short-range shuttle and fly it through Saturn's rings_.

Hikaru is waiting for her outside Cochrane Hall, looking a little manic.

"Can we really borrow a shuttle?"

Gaila nods emphatically. "Absolutely! I mean, if you don't care whether we borrow it with permission."

Hikaru's eyes light up. "It's not an adventure if you have permission."

***

They meet in the hangar bay at four on Christmas morning. Gaila's maintenance worker pass lets them in with a little bit of tweaking. Wrestling their stolen case of cookie dough aboard takes some time, but they've broken orbit hours before the regular staff arrives.

Hikaru high fives her when they sail past Luna. There's a cute little crumb of cookie dough on the corner of his mouth, and Gaila wonders if wiping it away could get her out of the friend zone...but the Earth-Luna-Mars corridor is a thicket of satellites and space stations that require constant navigational adjustments. Looking away from the conn for too long is an invitation to crash.

Saturn is finally in view when Gaila finally asks the question that's on her mind: "Why am I your sister-friend and not your sex-friend?"

Hikaru looks bemused. "I thought I told you before. I don't _have_ sex friends. I take sex more seriously than that." He looks sidelong at Gaila, his face suddenly alarmed. "Not that I judge people for having casual sex."

"I know," Gaila says. "We wouldn't be friends if you did." She unsnaps her safety harness and reaches toward the crate of cookie dough behind the pilot's seat. "I'm switching to snickerdoodle. Want some?"

"Fuck no," Hikaru says. "What kind of weirdo eats snickerdoodle when there are chocolate chips to be had?"

"What if we mashed the snickerdoodle and chocolate chip together into perfect balls of cookie goodness?" Gaila asks. "We could dip them in peanut butter."

"Done," Hikaru says. He starts stacking jars of peanut butter and cartons of cookie dough along the control panel, then leans back to survey his work with satisfaction. "Saturn, a stolen space shuttle, and contraband sugary products...No one in the universe has it better than us right now."

"I don't know about that," Gaila says, smearing peanut butter on one of her dough balls. Yes, Saturn is filling up the edge of the viewscreen, and yes, she is safe and warm and full and secure with one of her friends...but her life would definitely be better if she were having sex with him. She clears her throat and spins her seat to face Hikaru. "What exactly would I have to do in order to have sex with you?"

Hikaru's long fingers are splayed against the instrument panel, his face bathed in the blue light of the computer screen. He doesn't quite look at Gaila when he says, "You'd have to date me. For real. Not just to get me into bed."

"Oh." Gaila's face lights up. "That's easy. This could be a date, right?"

Hikaru looks up. Saturn's rings glint dimly in the starlight; the planet is a yellow ball behind them. "Yeah, this would be a pretty spectacular first date." He's smiling now, but Gaila can see the hesitation in his eyes. "Would you actually want to wait for me though?"

"Yes," Gaila says, with no hesitation. "You're careful and methodical, but also adventurous. You are a pilot, you carry a sword, and you're nice without being stupid about it. I would have to go out with at least six guys to get that combination of traits, but each of those six people would only be one-sixth as good as you. And probably none of them would have a sword. So yes, you are worth the wait."

She leans over and kisses a tiny dollop of peanut butter off Hikaru's lip. Hands intertwined, they lean back and watch Saturn draw close.


End file.
